Volume 5, Number 5, October 4, 1999
sign on the door said, “T. Rubric Troll.” No one
knew what the T stood for, and
no one dared ask.
Trogmire Troll stood outside the principal’s office with a large sheet of paper in his hand. The playground monitor, Ms. Trouncer Troll, had written a lengthy narrative describing Trogmire’s behavior.
Before Trogmire could knock on the door, it opened. The principal was standing there with a bottle of bubbly brown liquid in his hand. “Come in and have a seat, Trogmire,” he said.
“I was just enjoying a bottle of my favorite drink, toadstool juice soda,” Mr. T. Rubric Troll said. “ It’s one of the few things you can still get in good old-fashioned glass!”
“Yes, sir,” said Trogmire.
“It’s very bad manners for anyone to eat or drink in front of someone who isn’t also eating or drinking,” the principal continued. “What do you suppose will have to happen?”
“I’ll have to turn around so you can drink behind me,” Trogmire replied.
“No!” the principal boomed. “I, a polite and proper troll, must offer you a bottle of soda. Would you care to have a bottle of toadstool juice soda?”
Trogmire hated toadstool juice soda, but he didn’t want to offend the principal. “Thank you, sir,” he said.
The principal held out a bottle for Trogmire. “Here you are, lad,” he said cheerfully, “drink up!”
“Thank you very much,” Trogmire said. He didn’t wish to prolong the agony, so he put his head back and chugged down the bottle’s entire contents in four seconds flat! Trogmire tried to be gracious. “That was very nice. I --ERRRRRRUUP!” The sound was so loud that a picture on the principal’s desk fell over.
“You burped!” bellowed the principal.
Trogmire wanted to say, “I know that,” but instead he said, “I didn’t mean to!”
“What does a proper troll say when he makes any disgusting bodily sound?” asked the principal. He didn’t wait for an answer. “He says, ‘Pardon the expression.’”
“Pardon the expression,” said Trogmire.
“That’s better,” said Mr. T. Rubric Troll. “Now, let’s see what’s written on your pass.”
Trogmire reluctantly handed over the document. The principal put on his glasses and stared intently at the paper. A look of disbelief came over his face as he read the message. Trogmire squirmed in his seat.
“This makes me very sad,” the principal said softly.
Trogmire Troll could not think of anything to say.
“Can you explain why you mistreated that young lady?”
“She loves me and--”
“This can’t be true! This is too terrible,” Mr. T. Rubric Troll stated as he shook his head.
1. Why did Ms. Trouncer Troll write a message for the principal?
She wanted him to like her.
b. Watching kids on the playground was boring.
c. She needed information about the kids who were still in the cafeteria.
d. She wanted him to know what Trogmire had done on the playground.
2. Why did the principal offer Trogmire a bottle of soda?
He wanted to make Trogmire burp.
b. He wanted to reward Trogmire for his behavior.
c. He had too many bottles in his refrigerator.
d. He was being polite.
3. Why did Trogmire drink the soda so quickly.
didn’t like it and wanted to get it over with as soon as
b. He loved toadstool juice soda and wanted to enjoy it all as quickly as possible.
c. He was afraid that the principal would take the soda away from him when he read what he’d done.
d. He knew that it would make him burp.
4. “Trogmire reluctantly handed over the document.” When you are reluctant to do something, __________.
You expect it to
b. You can’t remember how to do it.
c. You have just had a drink of soda.
d. You would really rather not do it.
5. “‘This makes me very sad,’ the principal said softly.” What made Mr. T. Rubric Troll feel sad?
His picture fell
b. Trogmire had been cruel to Treasure.
c. Ms. Trouncer Troll had bad handwriting.
d. Trogmire was squirming in his seat.
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