Volume 5, Number 27, April 24, 2000
I might be letting
my young son watch too much television. I am certainly watching too
many of his programs. They can really be perplexing as they force you
to ponder the mysteries of life.
For example, when Franklin (the turtle) wanted a pet, his parents didn’t want it to be a frog. They felt that frogs belong in a pond. Isn't that where turtles belong?
And why is it that Little Bear’s animal friends can all talk and behave like people, but his friend Emily has a dog that can only bark and fetch? Tell me that isn’t a mystery!
Dog lovers can be reassured by Kipper and his friends. These dogs are very human. However, the only time they wear clothes is when they put on bathing suits to go swimming. I’m confused!
Speaking of dogs, could Pluto ever be Goofy’s pet? I don’t get it! What did the great Mr. Disney have in mind?
And this is gross! The other day we watched a very nice little pig setting up a picnic. One of the foods was a big ham. Could it have been a soy ham? Is there such a thing? I hope so!
Another thing that bothers me: What if Elmo isn’t real? He can’t be a mere puppet! He’s got a better attitude than most people. I just keep wondering.
I think we’ll turn off the TV and go out for a walk. Maybe we’ll run into that mouse who dresses well but certainly doesn’t speak as clearly as the average bear.
1. Which word is a synonym of “perplexing”?
2. Which word is a synonym of “ponder”?
3. The author thinks it’s “gross” when __________.
pig has a picnic because pigs are dirty animals
b. a pig eats soy beans because soy beans give pigs gas
c. a pig eats ham because ham is too expensive for farm animals
d. a pig eats ham because ham is made from pigs
4. The author probably __________.
believes that Elmo is a real live creature
b. wishes that Elmo were a real live creature
c. feels that Elmo is a very annoying creature
d. won’t let his son watch Sesame Street
5. The author is implying that __________.
there’s a TV mouse that should speak more clearly
b. TV mice should not wear good clothes
c. bears can really speak more clearly than mice
d. watching television is better than playing outdoors
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