RHL School

Reading Comprehension
Volume 4, Number 6, October 12, 1998

Note: This week's Reference Skills issue, introduces vocabulary for this selection.

Funny Jokes, Part Three

Mr. El and Mr. Smitty decided that an appropriate response to Miss Joan’s “joke” would be to remove something she had put up on her classroom wall. As soon as they were sure that the coast was clear, they headed for their victim’s room.
“I must admit, this is a beautifully decorated room,” Mr. El remarked.
“Don’t you think it would be a shame to diminish that beauty?” Mr. Smitty asked, hoping that Mr. El would abandon his mission.
“You’re right, Mr. Smitty. Just taking things off the wall would be petty, beneath our professional dignity.” Mr. El’s eyes were drawn to the alphabet posters that were lined up above the front chalkboard. “We owe it to Miss Joan to be more creative,” he announced. “Look up there, over the front board. There’s a picture of an apple with the word printed neatly under it, a bee for b, a couch for c. This presents an opportunity!”
“Look,” Mr. Smitty said, “She has more letters on that table in the corner.”
Mr. El quickly positioned the table beneath the a poster. Mr. Smitty found some markers, scissors, tape, and construction paper. He placed them on the table.
“We’ll just make some subtle changes,” Mr. El said. It might take days for Miss Joan to realize that anything’s different. Then she’ll have to wonder how many people noticed and what they thought!”
“That’s cruel!” Mr. Smitty protested in mock horror.
Mr. El just grinned and climbed onto the table. “We won’t have to change them all, hmm, let’s see, a, b...” The c poster showed a boy and girl sitting on a couch, looking at each other. “I’ll just peel this second c off. Could you please hand me up a g?”
“Now that ‘couch’ is ‘cough’, what about the picture?” Mr. Smitty asked.
“Is there a green marker down there?” Mr. El took the marker that had been promptly held up, and drew lines coming from the boy’s mouth to the girl’s face. “There, that’s a cough,” he said proudly.
They continued studying the posters. “Check this out,” Mr. Smitty observed, “Miss Joan used her own face on the f is for ‘face’ poster.”
Mr. El jumped off the table, grabbed a red marker, and slid the table under the new target. In a moment, the pretty round face with the short brown hair had a new feature: a big red tongue sticking out.
The next to be modified was the l poster. “We’ll leave the word ‘lunchbox’ as is,” Mr. El said, “but I think we’ll alter the appearance of the lunchbox.” In a flash, he had fashioned a new picture from construction paper and taped it over the original drawing.
“That’s not a lunchbox, it’s a toilet!” Mr. Smitty exclaimed.
“Of course it’s a lunchbox,” Mr. El responded. “Just look at the letters, l-u-n-c-h-b-o-x, lunchbox!”
Suddenly, the m poster caught Mr. Smitty’s attention. “Isn’t that a photograph of Mr. Kay?” he asked.
“Isn’t that precious!” Mr. El scowled. “A picture of the principal over the word ‘man’.”
Before Mr. Smitty could blink, Mr. El was removing the a from the poster. “Hand me an o, k, e, and y, please.”
Mr. Smitty smiled. “Do you think Mr. Kay will like being labeled a monkey? I thought you --”
“Listen!” Mr. El interrupted. “I hear footsteps down the hall. And they sound like Miss Joan footsteps!”
Within seconds, the table and art materials were put away. As the two men strolled innocently down the hall, they met Miss Joan.
Miss Joan was in a very good mood. “Are you two staying for the kindergarten open house? It starts in just a little over an hour. We’re even having the cable TV company broadcast it live. Your friend, Miss Joan, is going to be a famous television star!”
Infamous is more like it,” Mr. Smitty groaned.
“I beg your pardon,” Miss Joan replied.
Mr. El and Mr. Smitty looked at each other as if to say, “Now what do we do?”

What do you think Mr. El and Mr. Smitty should do? What will they do?
It’s all up to you as you become the author and write the conclusion to this story.

Copyright 1998 RHL


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